My close buddies know that I have been MIA for a few days and I’m here to fess up why. My father is 66 years old and retired. He is overweight, diabetic, has high blood pressure. He almost killed himself in 2005 by turning off the electric, heat & telephone to his home in the middle of winter only to have a blood clot in his leg cause him to fall ill and call out of work sick. He worked as a foreman for the gas company for 47 years when this happened. He was 63 at the time. His work called me about his absence stating they had gone to his home and his car was there but he would not answer the door (2 weeks ago was the last they had seem him). He had also pretty much blocked me and my 2 sisters out of his life by not answering our phone calls, never replying to mail we sent him and changing the locks on his door so we had no way to get in to see him. He was in a severe depression over my mother leaving him after 37 years of marriage. Anyway, after the call from his work, I leave my work and go to the police department and ask if they will break into the house as I think he is in there. They come and broke in only to find him sitting in his living room almost dead because all the water pipes in his home burst and the little propane heater he had next to him had burnt out leaving it freezing in there, he looked like a homeless man in 3 layers of clothing and a blanket around him. The only skin on his body exposed was his nose and ankles. His cell phone was in his car so he couldn’t call for help as he couldn’t get up. He could barely talk and was severely dehydrated. He had lost all control of his bodily functions. He hadn’t taken his blood pressure or diabetes medication in those 2 weeks, his kidneys were failing. As a result of the freezing temperatures and wet carpeting, he wound up losing both of his legs up to the knee to frostbite! He also had frostbite on his nose but luckily that healed. He was in the hospital for 8 months. He got out of the hospital and went to live with his sister (she was a retired nurse and could take care of his needs). We sold his 2 homes, 5 cars, boat, travel trailer etc. He was at my aunt’s in a severe depressed state for about 1 year 2 months. He didn’t talk, he wouldn’t make an effort to use his prosthetics, he wouldn’t even get up to pee (use a little urinal jar UGH). He didn’t care about anything at all. He blankly stared at the walls. You try to visit and cheer him up and nothing. Then one day, out of nowhere, he started talking, got right up and walked on his prosthetics and was as back to normal as he is. He decided he didn’t want to live with his sister anymore and decided to buy property in TN and build a log cabin. Then he decided he wanted to drive again. I had taken his 1989 Blazer (that he babied and was like new) so he wanted it back which was fine. Then he bought a new BMW. Then while in TN starting his home, he bought a Jeep to go off-road in. He bought a travel trailer to live in to supervise the construction. Then out of nowhere he tells us he bought another home in KY. Then he bought a 1989 corvette (he said for me to have) that is a project car for him. I had a corvette but sold it to buy my home. He also bought another boat, tons of furnishings for the houses etc. So he blew through $330,000 cash in less than a year. My sisters and I were beyond ourselves with this behavior. Then the diagnoses of bi-polar came which we really didn’t know much about but have since learned alot. However, for about 2 years now, other than the spending, he has been a functioning human being.
That is until about January 15th of this year! My sisters and I try to keep contact with him about once at week to make sure he’s ok. It’s so hard when you are 12 hours away from each other. I had spoke to him on January 9th. The next week I asked my sisters if they had heard from him and they hadn’t been able to reach him either. We had 2 full weeks of trying to call him and it would go right to voicemail on his phone. We decided it was time to call the police. The police go to the home and knock - no answer. His blazer is in the driveway. They call us back and tell us they got a locksmith and went in the house and there is no sign of him but his coat and keys were in the house. Then we call his TN neighbor to ask if he has seem him. He went to the trailer looked in the windows and said no sign of him at all and his BMW and Jeep were in the driveway. He said he hadn’t seen him in over a month at that house. We call the KY police back and they make an official missing person report. My sister then called his cell phone company and they told him the last call from his cell phone was on January 15th and gave us the number. We called the number and it was a Poppa Johns. Then we called his bank and the bank said there was no activity on his account since December 8th. My dad usually takes a chunk of money out for the month and lives on that so being over 1 month with no withdraw in January was highly unusual. So we began to panic. The police called for records at all hospitals, ambulance records, shelters etc. Nothing. Being a double amputee, he is extremely vulnerable to would-be robbers. The fact his car hadn’t moved out of the driveway for over 3 weeks, he didn’t order any food for delivery since January 15th and he didn’t call 911, we really really were scared something happened to him. The police called last Thursday and asked if any of the family could come meet them at my dad’s house as they wanted to do a black light test to check for blood etc. So me and my sister drove 12 hours (10 PM to 10:00 AM the next day). It was a horrible drive and all we could do is go over scenario after scenario as to what happened to him. Two officers and me and my sister go to his home but were waiting for a locksmith to get us in. There is a park across from his home so we all were searching in the park for signs of him to no avail. We walked around his home and his neighborhood. The word was out around there that he was missing and all different people were coming out talking with what they recall etc. I’m amazed at how many conflicting stories you get because people’s recollection of time is all messed up. As the officers and my sister and I were standing on my dad’s lawn a van pulled up asking if we found him. The officer said not yet and the people proceeded to say they saw an ambulance at that residence. The officer thought they were crazy as he had already checked the records but after they left, he called the department and said please recheck the records again. The ambulance company called him back and said they have no record of responding to this address. Let alone, why wasn’t it on his cell phone records if he called 911. But, the ambulance company said on January 17th they were extremely backlogged with calls and when that happens they refer it out of the county. They gave him the number, he called and sure enough an ambulance from 45 minutes away came and took him to the hospital on the 17th of Jan. I think you could hear the sigh of relief that came over all of us that day! He was at least alive! They gave him the hospital and we called. They told us he was discharged to a nursing home the day before. We call the nursing home and sure enough he is there! He is alive but in serious condition because for some reason (I assume something to do with the bi-polar), he decided he didn’t need to take his blood pressure, diabetes, etc medications and quit taking them back in October! He was getting a clot forming in an artery and that is what caused the chest pain. The problem is, he is on a severe down in his bi-polar causing him to not care about a darn thing. He is back to not talking, claiming he CAN’T walk, etc. It’s like rewinding back to 2005 when it happened the first time. He is extremely unkempt looking and has a full beard and mustache. He has ALWAYS been clean shaven! I am so heartbroken to have to deal with this all over again. My oldest sister thinks we need to have him deemed incompetant but it breaks my heart to do that as I know when he does take his medications, he is generally fine. But on the other hand, I just can’t go through this emotional stress again! My heart can’t take it!! And I wonder why I am overweight!!
So this trip to KY has thrown my entire diet off whack. Not only did we eat poorly at rest areas for 24 hours of driving in 3 days, since getting home on Sunday, I can’t get back to my good routine! I’m trying not to upset myself over it as I already have so much worrying on my plate but I don’t want to go back to my old ways! I’m really struggling.
To all my buddies who wondered where I was, especially Khrys and Sharona, thank you for being there for me! I know this is just a setback and eventually I will overcome it but right now I’m struggling with it! I may not weigh in again this week as I don’t want to upset myself anymore but I will continue to check in because one of these days it will click back in my head to try harder!
I know everyone has problems and I don’t mean to bring everyone down, but at least you know where I’m coming from right now!
Any words of encouragement will mean the world to me! Thanks buddies!
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